"The Fierce Urgency of Now"

Well, here we are folks. After a very long campaign, an endless barrage of news coverage, sound bites and rhetoric from both sides of the so called "aisle", we all sit together as Americans tonight on the eve of what can perhaps be a historic moment.

There's nothing I can say here that you haven't already heard: The two candidates have laid out their plans for the future of our country, and frankly, if you're still undecided after all this time, if you possibly are part of that mind-boggling percentage of voters that haven't made up their mind and plan on waiting until getting into the booth to make a decision, you truly are a retard.

The choice, is perhaps the most important one you will make in your voting lifetime. But the possibility still exists that this election can be stolen. Get out and vote, or else we may wake up one day in January to President McOldpants. The only silver lining to that cloud being that if God forbid he croaks just days into his term, (like that pope who they say "forgot" to bring his heart medication with him to the Vatican), we will certainly have the Milf-iest president ever. A man can dream.

Anyway, get off your pockmarked ass and vote in an election you will always remember. One you can say "Hey, I took the day off from work to vote on that pivotal day in 2008". Then get sloshed, maybe catch a movie, and go home to fuck your girlfriend. Don't worry about getting behind the wheel after your alcohol fueled voting adventure, because Starbucks is giving away a free cup of coffee to everyone who says they voted, even though it may violate federal election laws. Oh well.

Sadly, Sen. Barack Obama's grandmother passed away this morning. Not to sound insensitive, but those of us in "the showbiz" can't help but look to the possibilities of this story. And what a story it is, passing away just one day before possibly seeing her little grandson grow up to be elected to the highest office in the land? Back in Hawaii (which is pretty much still fresh in terms of being part of "the land" in the first place), she passes quietly in her sleep the day before her grandson is maybe elected as leader of the known free world? In this very serious moment for Obama, I can't help but think that somewhere, Oliver Stone is licking his chops and Denzel is keeping his schedule clear. Maybe Helen Mirren as Madelyn Dunham? Hey, you never know.

It may sound stupid, but the most agonizing part of my decision was due to the fact that both candidates share one important trait with me, they're left-handed. Long have I waited for the day when a southpaw was guaranteed to be commander-in-chief. Some of us have even organized during this election. What a grand life the next four years will be with a lefty in charge, who also happens to be a little left-of-center too. Don't get me wrong here, as soon as I start making some serious coin, I'm changing parties right quick. Once I'm reasonably wealthy, no one's spreading it. Until then, I'm wide-eyed with wonder over the greatness we can achieve in this country, hand in hand, together, as one. Sounds kind of socialisty, huh? So awesome.

See ya on the flip side!